The Brain Dump
8-20-24
I am a Fan Boy
I am a citizen of Earth, so naturally I like stuff. Like many of you, I am a big fan of cool stuff. Some things are cooler than others, so much so that I not only went on the ride, but I also bought the t-shirt, the lunchbox, the officially licensed Monopoly variant, and the exclusive limited edition dakimakura. Everyone is like that in one way or another for something (if you're not, keep looking!) and I am certainly no exception. Being so into something that it conflicts with our sense of monetary preservation is an interesting part of the human experience and is what I'd like to explore today. Strap yourself in for some navel gazing.
Cool Stuff on The Internet
Long story short: way back in ye olde days of 2005, I was in the mood for a new RTS and had my eye on a new one that came out named Dawn of War: Winter Assault. I didn't know anything else about it. I was so interested in the world that I eagerly ground through the campaign and started jumping down the internet search rabbit hole to figure out more about the setting. Ever since then I've been an avid fan of Warhammer 40,000. What ended up as a gift for getting through a rough semester of school turned out to be what has been a lifetime of enjoyment. Cut to today where I'm still poring over the vast amounts of content on 40K and finding cool stuff on the internet.
Being Part of a Fandumb
Being a fan can be a rollercoaster. Just like anything else, 40K as a property has had its share of missteps. For instance, it's a well known problem that there are plenty 40K games, but there are so many that are various states of jank or just trash. The result is that when a game comes out that is half decent (even if in a somewhat rough state), it's taken as a great thing. It has such a strange effect. I was hyped for a long time for the Darktide game to come out. When it came out it was all but garbage, but I still bought it full-well knowing the state of the game and the reputation of the developer for taking years to fix minor issues (if at all). It's crazy; if something is junk, most people shy away and say "maybe I'll get it when it stops being crap." That's not the battle cry of a fan. Only a casual couldn't understand why wasting money on things we don't need that aren't even that great a representation of what we like is still seen as good monetary sense™.
I'm sure my fellow fans can definitely sympathize with me on that particular front. It's hard to like something so much that you're willing to wait for the kind of content you like just to end up settling because your enthusiasm for something far exceeds the amount of enthusiasm a particular product warrants because you're desperate for content. That's where this gets a little weird. There are tons of written 40K media (books, manuals, etc.) that I could indulge in for a reasonable amount of money (hell, sometimes free) that would actually be worth the money spent on it. Why not enjoy that instead? Because I'm a picky fan. Also: reasons. I'm definitely not the only one who does this and I'm definitely thankful other people engage in this embarrassing and bizarre behavior because it makes me feel way more justified when I do it. Case in point: I am staring at the calendar, just waiting for the day Space Marine 2 comes out. "B-b-b-but El Brain Dumper, what about those audiobooks that you haven't listened to yet?" They are dead to me! Only the vidya must remain. Secondly, how dare you tell me to enjoy something enjoyable? I spent good money on those audiobooks so I can enjoy them at my leisure. It just so happens that "my leisure" is an indeterminate date in the future.
There are plenty of other things like that which make zero sense unless you're a big fan of something, but my mind is starting to wander so I'm going to try to salvage this before I go off the rails.
Never Apologize; Never Surrender
Despite the quirks & drawbacks of being a fan, I still highly recommend it. There's nothing like being so into something that you can while away hours or days just enjoying the content for what it is. I think everyone owes it to themselves to hunt down some kind of hobby or game (or anything, really) that they could say they're fanatical about. There's nothing like wandering around some random junk shop or being at some other random thing in public and stumbling across what you like (or a reference to it) and getting the gratification that you know that thing they're referencing. Most importantly, it's something that you should experience once just to know what it's like. It's just like having a kid; you can try it out and if you don't like it after a while, just leave it with someone else and you can move on to something else.