The Brain Dump

10-14-24

Consistency

Something I seem to be terrible at is consistency. Don't get me wrong, I can do the same thing for a while, but something about the concept of routine is a bit annoying & eventually grinds on me to the point that I fall flat on my face eventually. I guess the kind of consistency I'm talking about is like being consistently good at a hobby or something else; more like following routine than muscle memory (if that makes sense).So, with that being said, it should be no surprise that this experiment with writing prompts also cratered after a while.

Consistency at work is not a problem. Well, for the most part. I loathe the fact that 5 days out of the week I have to get up and go through a morning routine knowing full well that I'm going to be sitting my ass in a chair for the next 8 hours doing the same old shit I've always done. What makes it worse is that human beings require a certain minimum of things in order to survive in our current "society", so if I want to consistently eat and have a place to live that isn't a Maytag box, I have to consistently perform the mental equivalent of getting a root canal. In that case, I don't have the option to have any variation in life, but to be fair, nobody else does, either.

My resolution is to be less shit at being consistent, even if I'm not consistent in my attempts at consistency. I guess if there's one kind of consistency I possess, it's my weird masochistic habit of failing at things and banging my head against it until either I succeed or I lose my shit. I guess what they say is true about hardcore gaming: you're used to failing over and over until you somehow succeed. Is it a virtue? I guess. All I know is I'm back in the fuckin' saddle, baby. Also, it validates my free time and spending habits and I'm all for that.